英语幽默小故事，200词，带翻译，急用！

A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobil phone but discovered that she was out of credit ;she instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at the construction site.
After her son had called ,he got back to mummy to infrom her that it was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile . Women! She watied impatiently for her husband to return from the construction site .The moment she sighted him,she gave him a very hot slap.While the man was trying to ask why ,she repeated the slap.People from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of his .
The man asked his son to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called,he said,"The number you are trying to call is not reachable at the moment.Please try again later".
一个妇女想打丈夫的手机找他，但是发现她的手机余额不足，于是她吩咐儿子用他自己的手机给正在建筑工地上的爸爸打电话传递紧急信息。
儿子打完后，回到妈妈的身边说，他打了爸爸的手机三次，一位女士接了三次。女人！她心急火燎地等丈夫从建筑工地回来。她一看见丈夫就给了他热辣辣的一巴掌。男人正要问个究竟，她又扇了他一巴掌。街坊邻居都跑过来想弄清楚事情的原因。
男人让儿子告诉大家，他打电话时那个女人说了什么。他回答说；“你所拨打的电话暂时无法接通。请稍后再拨。”

The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
大五个月
第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。
可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。
“你多大了?”军医问。
“十八，长官。”约翰说。
“可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?”
约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。”

一听英语课基本就是强撑，就是那种魂魄已经散去，但是眼睛还得睁着，
有一次英语课分在第一排，离老师最近。一开始是听力考试，
老师就在那看着我，我就装着很认真的写，一边听一边填ABCD，
我觉得表演的已经很好了，用余光看见老师还在关注我，就装着思考，
装着装着卷子都快写完了。
突然听到一句：试音结束，现在听力考试正式开始。