求高手帮我看看下面的翻译（中译英）有没有语法错误

Time is important .Everyone has 24 hours in a day ,and 365 days in a year. Once a day runs out in our life,it will never come back again.If we love our lives,we shouldn't waste time.we must control time.The best way to use time is to plan it well.
When making the study plan,we should remember two things .First ,be realistic.Don't try to do 〈too many things 〉「改：anything」.Second ,a good study plan should be flexible .We may make some small changes,but follow the same pattern.
Let's be the master of time ,start our plan now. 说实在，这是一篇不错的文章

你是每句中文句, 一句一句的字翻成英文.

我会这样翻, 给你参考:

Time is important. We all have 24 hour days, and there are 365 days in a year. Once a day has passed it can no longer be retrieved. Therefore time should not be wasted and we need to live our lives with passion. The best way to do this is to have good time management.

There are two important things to remember when designing a study plan. Firstly it needs to be realisitc. Do not attempt to complete too many tasks at one go. Secondly the plan needs be flexible thus allowing small amendments to be made without going off course.

Let us be the master of our time and start planning today.

we should remember two things when we make the study plan.Firstly,be more realistic.Don't expect to do too many things.secondly, a good study plan should be more flexible.We may make small changes every week,but follow the same pattern.

There are twenty-four hours in a day for everybody 表示“有”的固定句型 there be 句型
Qnce it runs out in our life in a day
第二段开头 making改为一般式 make 原来的动词都没了
我觉得倒数第三句 may改为 could 或can 更好 may 意为能愿意思的情态动词 但愿、可以、也许
总的没啥大问题 翻译的很不错
那两句 我觉得改了会更符合英语表达习惯