“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”
“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”
“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”
TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?
John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.
老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？
约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。
how to fall in love with learning?
we always fall in love with people,such as,my mother ,and a beautiful men or momen,but today,i have a problem,can we fall in love with learning?
and how to fall in love with learning?
when we are quite young ,we have to learn a lot of different thing,like msths.in our heart ,we do not be found of it .we like music,but can not listen to it everyday,now,i wanna say fall in love with learning?i will spend more time in learning it by myshlf,
i believe can fall in love with learning,it is too old to learn,if i fall in love with learning,i will find the interesting in it,that sound perfect,shall i have try?
try to fall in love with learning !
我也不知道是不是太对,但是比较简单,就是要学会爱上学习,没什么单词,但是很有深远的意义,爱上学习,谁说不可以
http://flash.cdream.net/flash/050112/12388.htm
（2）BUYING A HAT
A lady went to a hat shop to buy a hat. As she was very fussy, it took her a long time to pick on one. Already at the end of his patience the salesman was afraid that she might change her mind again so he tried to flatter her: "An excellent choice, madam. You look at least ten years younger with this hat on!" To his dismay, the lady took off her hat at once and said: "I don't want a hat that makes me look ten years older as soon as I take it off. Show me some more hats!"
中文翻译
买帽子
一位妇女到一家帽子店买帽子。她很挑剔，用了很长时间才选好了一顶。已经忍耐到极限的售货员害怕她再改变主意，便恭维她："你做了极好的选择，夫人。你戴上这顶帽子看上去起码年轻十岁！"但令他沮丧的是，这位女士马上摘下了她的帽子说："我不想要一顶摘下来便使我立刻显得老十岁的帽子。多拿一些帽子给我看看！
（3）http://comic.5617.com/html/show21971.html
（4） Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
（5）http://ruoyenglish.bokee.com/viewdiary.15386288.html
（6）She kindled a third match. Again shot up the flame； and now she was sitting under a most beautiful Christmas tree ,far larger, and far more prettily decked out, than the one she had seen last Christmas eve through the glass doors of the rich merchant's house. Hundreds of wax-tapers lighted up the green branches, and tiny painted figures, such as she had seen in the shop-windows, looked down from the tree upon her. The child stretched out her hands towards them in delight, and in that moment the lights of the match warm quenched； still, however, the Christmas candles burned higher and higher， she beheld them beaming like stars in heaven； one of them fell, the lights streaming behind it like a long, fiery tail.
“Now some one is dying,” said the little girl, softly, for she had been told by her old grandmother， the only person who had ever been kind to her, and who was now dead that whenever a star falls an immortal spirit returns to the God who gave it.
She struck yet another match against the wall； it flamed up, and surrounded by its light, appeared before her that same dear grandmother, gentle and loving as always, but bright and happy as she had never looked during her lifetime.
她擦着了第三根火柴，又冒出了火焰。现在她觉得正坐在非常美丽的圣诞树下面，比上次圣诞节透过那富商家的玻璃门看到的那株还要大、还要美。这株树的绿枝上点燃着许许多多的蜡烛，颜色瑰丽的图画，就象橱窗里挂着的那些一样漂亮，仿佛在向她眨眼。小姑娘把两只手伸过去，火柴又熄灭了。然而圣诞树上的烛光越升越高。她看到它们变成了明亮的星星，有一颗落下来，在天上划出一道长长的火丝。
“现在又有一个什么人死了。”小姑娘说。因为她的老祖母——一个唯一待她好的人，现在已经死了，曾经告诉过她，天上落下一颗星，地上就有一个灵魂回到曾赋于他生命的上帝那里去。
她在墙上又擦了一根火柴，火光把四周照亮了。在亮光里，亲爱的和生前一样的祖母出现了。她依然是那么的慈爱和温和，然而那快活和幸福的样子却是她生前从未有过的
（7）But the teacher cried
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
可是老师哭了
六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的怀抱。
约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样？你过的好吗？哭了没有？”
“哭？”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”
（8）A Bet
Two pals are sitting in a pub watching the eleven-'clock news.A reporter comes on about a man threatening to jump from the 20th floor of a downtown building.One friend turns to the other and says,'I'll bet you ten bucks the guy doesn't jump.'
'It's a bet,' agrees his buddy.
A few minutes later, the man on the ledge jumps,so the loser hands his pal a $10 bill.'I can't take your money,'his friend admits.'I saw him jump earlier on the six-o'clock news.'
'Me,too,'says the other buddy.'But I didn't think he'd do it again.
打赌
两个好朋友正坐在一家小酒馆内观看十一点的电视新闻。一则新闻报道说，有个男人威胁要从商业区一座大楼的二十层跳下去。一位朋友转身对另一位说道：“我敢赌十块钱，那家伙不会往下跳。”
“赌就赌，”他的朋友欣然同意。
几分钟后，站在墙檐上的男人跳了下去，因而赌输的那位交给他的朋友一张十元的钞票。“我不能拿你的钱，”他的朋友承认道，“早在六点的新闻里，我就已见他跳下去了。”
“我也是，”另一位说，“可我想他不会再跳了！”
（9）Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said. "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
And Julie replied, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"
---------
朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“上帝，求求你，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”
妈妈打断她的话说：“朱莉叶，为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”
朱莉叶回答道：“因为我在地理考卷上是这样写的。”
（10)Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
1 inform v.告诉
2 nest n.窝；巢
3 description n.描述
4 encourage v.鼓励
5 resemble v. 相似；类似
鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。
“是什么鸟呢？”我姐姐问她。
“我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。
“那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？”我姐姐鼓励她道。
“哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。”
(11)I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
1 poisonous adj.有毒的
2 Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗？”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么？”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
(12)A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？
If I could catch a rainbow 如果我能留住彩虹
If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
And share with its beauty
On the days you’re feeling blue.
If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own
A place to find serenity
A place to be alone.
If I could take your troubles
I would toss them into the sea
But all these things I’m finding
Are impossible for me.
I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair
But let me be what I know best
A friend that’s always there.
如果我能留住彩虹
如果我能留住彩虹
我将只为你一个人挽留
在你感到忧伤的日子
与你分享它的美丽
如果我能建造大山
你尽可把它当成你自己的
体验宁静的空间
独处的地方
如果我能带走你的烦恼
我会把它们通通扔进大海
然而我发现所有这些事情
我都无能为力
我建不成一座大山
也留不住彩虹的美丽
就让我做你最好的朋友吧
永远与你相伴
生词：
could-[ kud ]-can 的过去式-conj. 能够
catch-[ kætʃ ]-n. 捕捉,陷阱,捕获物
rainbow-[ 'reinbəu ]-彩虹
would-[wəd]-conj. 将,愿意will 的过去式
share-[ ʃɛə ]-n. 部份,股份,分担v. 共享,共有,分配
beauty-[ 'bju:ti ]-n. 美,美丽,美人,美的东西
feeling-[ 'fi:liŋ ]-n. 感觉,知觉,感情
build-[ bild ]-v. 建立,建筑
mountain-[ 'mauntin ]-n. 山,山脉
own-[ əun ]a. 自己的pron. 特有的v. 有,拥有vi. 承认vt. 拥有
serenity-[ si'reniti ]-n. 宁静,沉著
alone-[ ə'ləun ]-a. 单独的,仅仅ad. 单独地
trouble-[ 'trʌbl ]-n. 麻烦,困难v. 困扰,麻烦,烦恼
toss-[ tɔs ]-n. 投掷,震荡v. 投掷,摇荡,辗转
into-['intə ] -prep. 到...里
finding-[ 'faindiŋ ]-n. 发现,发现物,决定vbl. 发现
impossible-[ im'pɔsəbl ]-a. 不可能的
有益的教训
在英国，十八岁以下的人不准进酒吧喝酒。
汤普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一个酒吧喝酒，但他从来不带他的儿子汤姆去，因为他年纪太小。后来，当汤姆年满十八岁的时候，汤普森先生第一次带他去他常去的那家酒吧。他们喝了半个小时，而后，汤普森先生对他儿子说：“汤姆，现在我要告诉你一个有益的教训。你必须时时小心不要喝得太多。你怎么知道你喝够了呢？好，我来告诉你。你看见酒吧那头有两盏灯吗？当那两盏灯看起来变成四盏的时候，你就喝够了，应该回家了。
“可是，爸爸。”汤姆说：“在酒吧那头我只能看见一盏灯。”
The Country Squire
In a small pretty village in Notting ham shire there formerly lived a respectable Squire， who excelled all his friends in amusements athletic， and whose manner of living was far from ascetic． A wife he had taken for better or worse， whose temper had proved an intolerant curse；but at length， to his great and unspeakable joy， she died when presenting a fine little boy．Strange fancies men have；—the father designed to watch o’er the dawn of his son's youthful mind，—that，only approached by the masculine gender， no room should be left him for feelings more tender．“Had I ne’er seen a woman，” he often would sigh，“What Squire in the country so happy as I！” The boy was intelligent， active， and bright， and took in his studies uncommon delight；no juvenile follies distracted his mind； no visions of bright eyes， or damsels unkind， and those fair demisisterly beings so gay， yclept“pretty cousins， ne’erpopped in his way； till at length this remarkably singular son could number of years that had passed twenty one．”
Now the father had settled， his promising son should his studies conclude when he reached twenty one；and he went，with a heart beating high with emotion， to launch the young man on life's turbulent ocean．As they entered the town，a young maiden tripped by， with a cheek like a rose， and a lightlaughing eye．“O father， what's that？” cried the youth with delight， as this vision of loveliness burst on his sight．“O，that，” cried the cautious and politic Squire， who did not they outh's ardent glances admire，“is only a thing called a Goose，my dear son ；we shall see many more ere our visit is done．”
Blooming damsels now passed with their butter and cheese，whose beauty might even an anchorite please：“Merelygeese！” said the Squire，“don't mind them，my dear；thereare many things better worth looking at here．” As onwards they passed， every step brought to view some spectacle equally curious and new；and the joy of the youth hardly knew any bounds， at the roped ancers， tumblers， and merry gorounds．
As soon as the tour of the town was completed， the fatherre solved that the boy should be treated； so， pausing an instant，he said，“My dear son， a new era today in your life has begun；now of all this bright scene and the gayeties in it，choose whatever you like，it is yours from this minute．”“Choose whatever I like？” cried the jouthful recluse．“O， thank you，dear father， then give me—a goose！”
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