1.A young business man had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
一个年轻人刚开始做生意，租了一间漂亮的办公室。坐在办公室，他看见一个人从外面走进办公室。装着很忙的样子，他拿起话筒，假装正在跟人谈一笔很大的生意。他从嘴里说出的，都是数目很大的数字，还有口气很大的许诺。
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."
最后，他挂上电话，问来访者:“您有什么事吗？”来访者说:“哦，我是来装电话的。”
2.Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
And Julie replied, "Because that’s what I put in my geography exam!"
朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”
妈妈打断她说：“朱莉叶，你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”
朱莉叶回答说：“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。”
3.The Swimmer
The teacher told the class the story of a man who swam a river three times before breakfast.
Johnny laughed.
"Do you doubt that a good swimmer could do that?" asked the teacher.
"No, sir," answered Johnny, "but I wonder why he did not swim it four times and get back to the side where his clothes were."
游泳者
老师给同学们讲了一个小故事，说有一个人早饭前要在河里游泳，横渡三趟。
约翰尼笑了。
老师问道：“你不相信一个游泳很好的人可以做到么？”
约翰尼回答说：“不是的，先生，我是不明白他为什么不游四次，好回到他放衣服的那边。”
4.It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store.
A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curse. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown at the end of the line again.
As he got up, he said to the person at the end of the line,” That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"
一天，一个商店降价大甩卖。人们在开店之前就排在了商店门前，排成了很长的一队。一个身材矮小的人推挤着想到队伍的前面，但被推了回来，而且被咒骂着插队。那个人又一次努力往前挤， 但是又被挤到了最后面，而且下巴被重重的碰了几下，他对最后一个人说：“如果他们再次这样对我，我就不去开商店门了！！！”
5.Goldfish
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
Stan: In the bathroom 。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
Stan: Blindfold them!
斯丹：我赢了 92 条金鱼。
弗雷德：你想在哪儿养它们？
斯丹：浴室。
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡时怎么办？
斯丹：蒙住它们的眼睛！
希望对你有帮助,找的不容易,没人回答,给+点分吧,你可以再从百度知道上搜索,输入"英语小短文",从上面找吧,呵呵.- -
1.Last week, Mrs Black went to London. She didn’t know London very well, and she lost her way. Suddenly she saw a man near a bus stop. She went up to the man and said, “Excuse me! Can you tell me the way to the hospital, please?” The man smiled. He didn’t know English! He came from Germany. But then he put his hand into his pocket, and took out an English dictionary. He looked up some words. Then he said slowly, “I’m sorry I can’t understand you.”
上周，布莱克夫人去了一趟伦敦。她不太熟悉伦敦，结果她迷路了。突然她在一个公共汽车站附近看见一位男子。她急忙向这位男子走去，说道：“劳驾您一下！请您告诉我去医院的路，好吗？”这位男子笑了。他听不懂英语。他来自德国。但是他将手伸进了自己的衣袋里，从里面掏出了一本英语词典。他查找到了一些单词。然后他一字一句地说：“我很抱歉我听不懂你说的话。”
2.An ant went to the bank of a river to quench its thirst, and being carried away by the rush of the stream, was on the point of drowning.
A Dove sitting on a tree overhanging the water plucked a leaf and let it fall into the stream close to her.
The Ant climbed onto it and floated in safety to the bank. Shortly afterwards a bird catcher came and stood under the tree, and laid his lime-twigs for the Dove, which sat in the branches. The Ant, perceiving his design, stung him in the foot. In pain the bird catcher threw down the twigs, and the noise made the Dove take wing.
One good turn deserves another
3.Talking clock
会说话的钟
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓，甚是得意。“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的？”他的一个朋友问他。“那玩意儿厉害了，那是一个会说话的钟”，学生回答。“这钟怎么工作的”，他的朋友问。“看着，别眨眼了”，那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子，拼命地敲了一下，声音震耳欲聋。突然，他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫，“别敲了，你这白痴！现在是凌晨两点钟了！”
4.A speeding motorist was waved down by a police patrol car. “I'm going to give you a ticket for speeding,” said the policeman, writing his note. “You've been driving over 60 miles per hour.”
“Would you mind making it 100, officer?” was the reply. “You see, I'm going to sell the car.”
超速行驶
一名超速行驶的驾驶员被巡逻警车拦住后，警察一边做记录，一边说：“我要给你开一张超速罚单，因为你刚才的车速已经超过了60英里。”
“警官，请你把时速写为100英里好吗？你知道，我正要打算卖这辆车。”
5.As college English education is greatly emphasized with the rapid development of global communication, the defects that exist in the current educational system are open to more criticism. It is widely acknowledged that a thorough reform of college English education should be under way.
Educators definitely should be responsible for the inadequacy of College English Education. It is known to all that interest is the best teacher, but a large part of college English teachers underestimate the effect of interest and keep preaching in class. Besides, “language environment” is needed to learn a foreign language and the lack of it in Chinese universities has hindered the student’s English learning.
Some problems of the students’ learning habits is also the source of the inadequacy. Chinese students tend to separate vocabulary memorizing, grammar, listening, speaking, reading, and writing and therefore their English is also “broken” in this way. In addition, they are generally reluctant to practice speaking. This has greatly contributed to the “dumb English” of Chinese students.
The success of the college English education reform requires efforts of both educators and students. The universities should encourage students to speak English in their daily communications and hole more activities with the purpose of promoting students’ speaking of English. Teachers should focus on attracting students with charms and interest of English in their classes. Students should try to be participants of the learning activities rather than passive receptors. With the collaboration of educators and students, the reform of college English education will surely yield plentiful fruits
1.After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.
“How about some perfume？”he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle.
“That's a bit much,”said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00.
“That's still quite a bit,”Tim complained.
Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle.
“What I mean,”said Tim, “is I'd like to see something really cheap.”
The clerk handed him a mirror.
2. Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
3． Taken for Granted
THE SCHOOL HEALTH formS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word "Sex" had been spelled with an "o". One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to "Sox": "Usually brown."
4.Logic Reasoning
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can'tm, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his
savings?"
5.But the teacher cried
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
5 stories
1, the situation is different
A piglet, a sheep and a cow, and was in the same Chulan Lane. Once, I caught piglets shepherd, he loudly Xiaojiao, fiercely resisted. Sheep and cows hate it Xiaojiao, said: "He often catch us, we do not Dahexiaojiao." Piggy listened replied: "I got you and it is completely different from catching, he got you, you just want to hair and milk, but hold me, to my life? "
Different positions, different people and their environment, it is difficult to understand each other's feelings of others so frustrated, frustration, grief, not schadenfreude, but should be caring, understanding of the mood. Be tolerant heart!
2, on its own
Small snail mother asked: Why do we have from birth, it is necessary to bear this and the hard shell again?
Mom: Because our body does not support the bone, can only crawl, crawl unhappy. Therefore, to the protection of the shell!
Small snails: Caterpillar sister no bones, climbing unhappy, why she did not back again this is the hard shell?
Mom: Because Caterpillar sister can become butterflies, the sky will protect her ah.
Small snails: But no bones brother earthworms crawl unpleasant, it will not become what he is not butterflies back again this is the hard shell?
Mom: Because earthworms brother will be drilled soil, the earth will protect him ah.
Small snails into tears: We sympathize with, the sky is not protected, nor the protection of the earth.
Snail's mother comforted him: So we have a shell ah! We do not rely on, nor rely on, we rely on ourselves.
3, sharks and fish
Experiment has been done, will be one of the most ferocious sharks and tropical fish in the same group of a pond, then strengthened glass separated Initially, the crash That day sharks do not see the glass, this is what tolerance futile, and it has always been not to have to the opposite, and staff every day. release of a number of carp in the pond yard, so no lack of sharks prey, but it is still to think the opposite, would like to try the taste of the beautiful, still day That is the constant collisions glass, it tried every corner of each are fully exhausted, but always make each of the numerous injuries, several have every bleeding, for a good number of days, whenever a glass cracks, laboratory personnel immediately with a thicker glass. Later, the Sharks no longer crash That glass, and for those who Colorful tropical fish are no longer concerned about, as if they are just moving to the wall murals, which started waiting for the day the carp will be fixed, and then used his quick instincts hunting, as if to return to the sea insufferably arrogant vicious domineering, but it is all just fake like just experiment at the end of the stage, glass laboratory personnel will be removed, but sharks did not respond, every day is still in the fixed Regional travel to its tropical fish not only for those who turn a blind eye, even when those carp escaped to the side, he would immediately abandon the chase, and said not wish the past, the end of the experiment, laboratory personnel nautical miles ridiculed it is the most cowardly of fish. But Lovelorn the people know why, it Patong.
4, miracles
France in a remote town, reported that there is a special efficacious springs, and often there will be miracles, healing of various diseases. One day, a拄着crutches, a leg fewer veterans, a lame lame in one of the road through the town, with the nearby town of sympathy to kiss said: "The poor guy, he would Is God pray for another one leg? "This remark was heard ex-soldiers, and he turned to them said:" I pray to God not to have a new leg, but to pray for him to help me, I did not ask a leg , also know how to live. "
Just imagine: Learning for the loss of Thanksgiving, but also to the loss of the fact that, regardless of the gain and loss of life, always let their own life is full of bright and glamour, no tears for the past, efforts Guochuziji life.
5, poles
There is a river fishing in the elderly, to see a child through his fishing, the elderly skills mature, so long as it did not catch on the baskets full of fish, the elderly see very lovable child, should the entire baskets of fish gave him, child shook his head, the elderly surprised and asked him: "Why are you not?" the child replied: "I want you the hands of the poles." elderly person asked: "What do you want to poles?" the child said: "This fish was soon baskets After, if I have the fishing poles, I can catch their lifetime eat too many. "I think you will say: Well, the smart kids. Wrong, as long as fishing poles if he, he can not eat a fish. Because he did not know the skills of fishing, light rods is a useless, because the fishing poles is not important, and there are too many people fishing skills that they have a life over the poles, no longer on the road without fear the wind and rain, and so will inevitably fall on the muddy ground. See children as the elderly, as long as they are poles are eating too many fish, such as staff see the boss, as long as they sat office, the money will roll into.
楼上的是故事吗？ 怎么像日记？
1。4 wives
There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.
He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He's very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.
He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant's confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.
Now, the merchant's 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.
One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, "Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I'll be alone. How lonely I'll be!"
Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.
The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant's heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is so good over here! I'm going to remarry when you die!" The merchant's heart sank and turned cold.
He then asked the 2nd wife, "I always turned to you for help and you've always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.
Then a voice called out : "I'll leave with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go." The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, "I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !"
Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives
a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.
b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.
c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we're alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.
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2。PUPPIES FOR SALE
A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the pups and set about Nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he Felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the Eyes of a little boy.
Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer.
And with that he let out a whistle,"Here,Dolly!" he called.
Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight.
As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared; this One noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....
"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt.
The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself To a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need Someone who understands."
The world is full of people who need someone who understands.
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3。Wait For The Brick
A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and drove the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car, shouting, "What was that all about and who are you?
Just what the heck are you doing?
That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money.
Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic. "Please mister ... please, I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded.
"I threw the brick because no one else would stop..."
With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car.
"It's my brother," he said.
"He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out his fancy handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.
"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.
Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the little boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!
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4。 A Box Full of Kisses
The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree. Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy."
The man was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found out the box was empty. He yelled at her, stating, "Don't you know, when you give someone a present, there is supposed to be something inside? The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and cried, "Oh, Daddy, it's not empty at all. I blew kisses into the box. They're all for you, Daddy."
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.
Only a short time later, an accident took the life of the child. It is also told that her father kept that gold box by his bed for many years and, whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.
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5。The Wooden Bowl
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and a four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together nightly at the dinner table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating rather difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass often milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. "We must do something about grandfather," said the son. I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor. So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner at the dinner table. Since grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. Sometimes when the family glanced in grandfather's direction, he had a tear in his eye as he ate alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and mama to eat your food from when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled. Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes that every day that building blocks are being laid for the child's future。
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