求大神批改雅思作文~能告诉我大概的分数和需要努力的方向吗?谢谢

2024-12-14 16:32:05
推荐回答(3个)
回答1:

第一感觉,模板套的太过生硬,印象就不好.其它方面.建议你当面找老师或者比你厉害的朋友改.网上给了你建议你自己吸收不了的.

回答2:

挺不错的,但句子仍需要进一步的加工

例如
第一段可以:
A much debated-issue these days is whether or not students should be given guidance and help about recruiment by universities.

最后一段可以:

From what has been discussed above,we may safely draw a conclusion that ....



What I strongly deem is that ......



Personally,I tend to side with the view that....

回答3:

可以了,不错