第一感觉,模板套的太过生硬,印象就不好.其它方面.建议你当面找老师或者比你厉害的朋友改.网上给了你建议你自己吸收不了的.
挺不错的，但句子仍需要进一步的加工
例如
第一段可以：
A much debated-issue these days is whether or not students should be given guidance and help about recruiment by universities.
最后一段可以：
From what has been discussed above,we may safely draw a conclusion that ....
或
What I strongly deem is that ......
或
Personally,I tend to side with the view that....
可以了，不错
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