Xia Yu, 10:10 am, June 18
I am Xiayu.I am tall and I like playing basketball. As I practise a lot, I am good at playing basketball. However, I have some difficulties in keeping practising it. First, our school only has 2 palygrounds and a lot of students play basketball after class. Second, since now I am going to senior high school, my parents and teachers hope I can spend less time playing basketball.I suggest that another playgroud should be built in our school and I hope that teachers and parents can change their attitude to that.
点评:诸如as, however, first,second这些连接词的使用增加了这篇短文的条理性,使得描写更加紧凑,上下文连贯自然;hope 和suggest后的宾语从句使用也比较正确。作者具有较好的书面表达能力。
One possible version:
I like sports and I’m good at playing basketball. Every day I practice basketball with my classmates after school. I also enjoy listening to music but I can’t sing well. I’m afraid of singing in front of people. I hope our school will start a singing club. I’m sure I can make great progress with the help of our teachers. I also hope there will be less homework on weekends. Then I can have more time to do what I’m interested in.
自己写,不要什么都靠别人!
挺楼上那位