【200分求助】雅思作文批改④。非常感谢。【方便的话可以另存为word文档批改后发到邮箱yasizuowen@163.com

With the flourish of manufacturing industries and the amelioration of living standards, many nations are confronted with a severe surge of energy demand. To meet that demand, instead of fossil fuels, some countries are encouraging the utilization of alterative energy sources, which are more environment-friendly and low-carbon, such as solar energy, tidal power, geothermal energy, and so forth. As far as I am concerned, this is an applicable and sensible avenue to relief the energy crisis and to solve our environment problems.

Undeniably, since the Industrial Revolution (1750), mankind has depended on fossil fuels, where the electricity mainly comes from. However, say not exaggeratedly, that is the proximate cause of the environmental contamination and the global warming in the recent decades. Moreover, toxic gases, such as sulphur dioxide and nitrogen oxides, as well as contaminated water are dreadfully poisonous to human being, flora and fauna.

As an alternative for conventional energy sources, especially considering the various troubles thay bring, clean energy is playing an increasingly significant role in modern life and production. For instance, a growing number of hybrid electric vehicles are chosen by consumers, and more solar panels are instlaled by manufacturers. Consequently, less contaminating exhaust will be emitted and the public will access to better cities and a better life.

Furthermore, from a different angle, these alternative energy sources also create considerable economic benefits. Currently, with the deterioration of the global inflation, crude oil and natural resource prices have remained high, which in turn add cost to domestic manufacturing industries, whereas these problems can be solved by encouraging the utilization of renewable and sustainable alternative energy.

To sum up, from my point of view, alternative energy sources are the top-priority choice to achieve a win-win situation between the environment and the economy.

Note:
电动车叫electric vehicles不是electronic vehicles 电子车

这篇改动的稍多了一些，看看是不是满意，觉得你还是对一些小词的用法掌握的不是很好，还是慢慢体会吧

对以中文为母语的人来说，写成这样，已经不错了

有一些连接词在使用上不必太套那些格式，可以用一些自己的词汇，否则，如果你写出几十篇，估计都会是一个模子的

带有track changes的编辑版本已经发到邮箱，请注意查收

第一段的LIVING STANDARDS改成单数，第二行， instead of the fossil fuels---把THE去掉；剩下的没看完。。。。。

太难啦，我可没这能力

可以去外国人

可以用在线翻译