推荐回答(5个)
孩子一定要自己带,她觉得不好没关系,你觉得好就可以了。
“有人说,婚姻中最怂的时候就是没人帮你带孩子。家家有本难念的经,即使有老人帮忙,可如果老人的育儿理念和方法跟自己差异很大的话,也许会更怂。”
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小青最近结婚了,小青的老公上面还有一个姐姐,姐姐的孩子一岁多,婆婆在照顾自己的外孙,就让小青和老公晚点再要孩子。明明是婆婆提出晚育的,但是几年后,婆婆看小青肚子没有动静,明示暗示让小青去看医生。
小青想着自己马上30了,大姑的孩子都上小学了,婆婆应该就可以来帮自己了,就决定怀孕了,婆婆听到消息后来看她,并对她说:“让你妈来给你带孩子吧,我可带不了,我得带我女儿家的孩子,上小学得每天接送,还得辅导作业。”
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生产的时候小青本来打算顺产,最后关头难产,迫不得已转去剖腹,伤口在月子期间感染了,小青吃尽苦头。刚满月就没人照顾,又没钱雇保姆,孩子的吃喝拉撒全部都要小青经手,婆婆不出人,不出钱,还总埋怨亲家母不帮忙,风凉话一箩筐。
小青鼓起勇气,放下尊严,委婉地跟婆婆商量,乞求她能看在孙子的面上,帮忙照顾一下。可是婆婆却说:“孩子是你们生的,和我们有什么关系?孙子又怎么样?长大了我们又不指望他!我的儿子我已经养大了,我的任务已经完成了!”
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一席话说得小青哑口无言,因为她知道,在某种意义上婆婆说得有道理。于是小青不再向婆婆提任何要求,产假休完就辞职在家当了全职妈妈。在接下来的时间里,小青经历了:剖腹伤口感染、产后抑郁症、产后风湿、产后又一次大手术,这么多困难,她都独自扛了下来。
现在,小青的儿子已经5岁了。经过五年的时间,小青如今“想通了”;这五年,该经历的都经历了,该吃的苦都吃过了,熬过最艰难的日子,如今的她心态平和而宁静。在和大姑家的孩子接触几次之后,小青很庆幸自己没有让婆婆来带孩子,因为婆婆性格急躁,十分强势,导致大姑家的孩子现在十分任性,不懂感恩,还特别张扬喜欢闹事。
让婆婆带是一个好方法,现在许多婆婆都不愿意帮忙带孩子,可以让你老公帮去和婆婆进行沟通,避免你和婆婆之间发生争执
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来自一个旁观者的独白
在婆媳关系中,丈夫的态度起了决定性作用,你不需要必过你婆婆,你只要比你老公好,你带孩子的观念你老公更赞同那就好了,一定要让你老公说说谁的方法更好。
当然你自己也觉得你比不上你婆婆就和她多取取经,家有一老如有一宝,虽然时代不同观念不同,但是很多宝贵的经验是新手妈妈没有的,没必要置气,孩子是你自己的,不管怎样以后对妈妈一定是最亲的最爱的,你也要好好爱你的孩子。
你的婆婆认为你带不好孩子,她想带就让她带吗,这是一件求之不得的好事呀。
那你是不是真的带不好孩子呢,或许是你们两个人。本身就有这方面有政治,老年人和年轻人带孩子观点是不一样的。
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