我是自学英语的新手写了一篇的自我介绍,请高手们帮忙看下有没有时态标点符号等方面的错误,谢谢!

Hello,everyone!
My name is Miki. I am 23 years old.I work in a logistics company.I like music and English.
There are seven people in my family. My farther and my brother work in a factory.My mother and my sister in law are housewives. The youngest in my family is my sister in law who is pregnant.
In my spare time.I like to read book.I think reading could enlarge my knowledge.In addition to it, I also like sports, such as running and swimming.
My favorite subject is English because I think it is interesting to say one thing via different sounds. At present , My English is very bad, but I hope my English could be improved in the next two years and speak fluently in the future.
Relating to English, listening to English songs and watching English TV programs, I want to make friends with English learning friends and foreingers. I think when I walk along with two others, they may serve me as my teachers.

我看了下，一些最基本的符号和短语已经帮您更正过来了，目前您的水平还是可以的，基本上能够表达出您的思想，但是，如果需要更准确更透彻地掌握英语您需要加倍努力。如果有时间的话，推荐您学习新概念英语。
加油！祝您早日在英语上突破自己！

水平一般。，我这个初中生都通用看懂，my fanily 单词错误，哈哈。。。

Hello,everyone.
My name is Miki 23 years old,I work in a logistics company.I like music and English.
There are seven people in my family,My farther and my brother works in a factory.My mother and sister in law are housewives.The youngest in my family is my sister in law's baby.In my spare time,I like to read books.I think reading could increase my knowledge.In addition to reading, I also like sports such as run and swimming.
My favorite subject is English because I think it is interesting to say one thing via different sounds. At present , my English is very bad. I wish my English could be improve in the next two years and speak fuent English in future.
Listening to English songs,watching English TV programs can halp to improve my English. I want to make friends with people who are learning to speak English and that are native to the language . I think when I spand time with people like them,they can hlp me to improve my English.

这个是改过的、
标点错误很多、
和原文对照一下、就知道错在哪里了、

Hello,everyone.
My name is miki 23 years old,I work in a logistics company.I like music and English.
There are six people in my family,My farther and my brother work in a factory.My mother and sister in law are housewives.The youngest in My family is sister in law who is bearing a small baby.
In my spare time.I like to read book.I think reading could enrich my knowledge.In addition to reading I also like sport such as running and swimming.
My favorite is English because I think it is interesting to say one thing via different sounds. At present , My English is very bad,so I wish my English could be improved in the next two years and I could speak fluent English in the future.
Relating to English,listening to English songs.watching English TV programs. I want to make friend with English studying friend and foreinger . I think when I walk along with two others . each of them may can serve as my teacher.