哪位高手帮忙改正一下,不甚感激.

给你改正后的如下：
Maybe in every boy’s heart, there once lived a goddess who was called Venus. Boys imagined her appearance and characteristic as they wanted. They dreamed that one day, Venus could come to their sides, as a spouse, enjoyed the whole life with them. Of course, I was a member of this fantasy-tending group. Ok, let me talk about my ideal girlfriend. Except for her appearance, I think she should possess characteristics as below .
First of all, she should love my family. I have a so harmony family that I don't want anyone to break the balance. There is no such thing as loving my family without loving me. Secondly, she should be very interesting. In the whole career life, so many days,so many hours, it perhaps make me feel boring some time, so my girlfriend should create some interesting stories frequently. What’s more, I hope her to be grateful. From our birth, we met different people, and many of them gave us their whole treassure , for better or worse. I think only understanding could lead us to a happiness way. At last, I hope that she treats me with her undivided attention and honesty. Life need honesty, so does family.
Anyway, I know that defect exists in every person, we have no rights to require others to be perfect. What really matters is that we should give enough consideration to each other . By the way, I feel very lucky because I have already had a girlfriend as I described. In a word, I hope that every boy could find his ideal girlfriend successfully!

或许在每个男孩的心中,曾经住有一位名为维纳斯的女神.男孩想象着她的容貌和他们所期望的品德.他们梦想着有一天,维纳斯会来到他们面前,成为自己的妻子,和他们共度一生.当然,我也曾经是这个狂想群体的一员.好吧,让我来谈谈我的理想中的女友.期盼着她的出现,我认为她应具备以下品质.
首先,她应该爱戴我的家庭(成员).我有个如此和睦的家庭,我不想要任何人来打破这个平衡.我和我的家庭均受到珍爱.所以,她应该非常有趣(有幽默感).在整个生涯之中,会度过诸多的日子,消磨无数的时光,这些或许在某个时候会令我感到厌烦,因此我需要我的女友能流畅的(自然的)创造些笑声的空间.除此之外,她能明白感恩.从我们出生以来,我们遇到了不同的人,以及许多他们给予我或好或坏的使我们得以成长.我只是认为明白感恩能使我们生活幸福.最后,我希望她能将全部精力放在我身上并诚实待我.生活需要真诚,家庭同样如此.
不管怎样,我知道人无完人,我没有资格去要求其他人.更重要的是,我们应该给与他人足够的考虑(周到的考虑)顺便说一句,我觉得非常幸运因为已经有一个刚才我所描述的女友.总之,我希望每个男孩能成功地找到他理想中的女友!

I am a boy student.I can understand your feeling perhaps the same to me.
I think your ideal will come ture!