英语翻译！！加急！！！

看来是个出国的学生了。

但是上面的汉语我觉得过于生硬，建议改成下面的，语句简单明了。
（至于家人在国内，签证官也是知道的，可提也不提。）

As soon as I finish my master degree in business administration, I'd like to return back to China directly. First, it simply because I love my motherland very much and I believe my further education in America could help me to make greater contributions to the people and business management that I have a passion for.

Finished I will return
I think I am in favor of the motherland more space for the development of
Because of the motherland's economy is in rapid development period,
Economic development will certainly need a lot of talents in business,
I also hope that the national development of the community to do its part.
My family and friends here, I need to come back.

As the economy of my motherland is booming, calling for a great number of business professional talents, I plan to come back after finishing my study for better career development as well as re-unite with all my families and friends, hoping that I can give my own contribution to my motherland.

Once fininshing my study, I will go back to my country. A lot of experts, especially in business, are needed by my country, due to the speedy developing in economics. I hope I have a chance to participate and contribute what I learned to my country. All my relatives and friends staying in China are another cause to make decision by myself.

As I think my motherland could present me a wider develoment space
I decide to return afer finishing my oversea study.It's well known that Chinese economy is in a golden period with rapid development ,business talents are dear resource for economy development.I hope that I can contribute my efforts for my country .Besides my family and my friends hope for my return.

After completing their studies in return I will, I think I am in favor of the motherland more space for the development of the economy because of the motherland is in a period of rapid development, economic development will certainly need a lot of talents in business, I also hope that the state of society development to do its part. My family and friends here, I need to come back.
After completing their studies in return I will, I think I am in favor of the motherland more space for the development of the economy because of the motherland is in a period of rapid development, economic development will certainly need a lot of talents in business, I also hope that the state of society development to do its part. My family and friends here, I need to come back.