谢谢大虾们修改下以下的英语作文，不要留情啊~~~(重写更好)

2025-02-28 18:03:32

推荐回答（3个）

回答1：

首先，没有在开头提出观点，这对你很不利，因为读者不知道你会将他们引向何处。

接下来，第一个细节问题，只知道有there be,却从来不知有there exists

（省略多个低级的语法问题，可以通过加大阅读量解决，没有捷径）

再者，Chinglish现象很严重，比如这句：love is a common phenomena in college 中国人都知道你想说什么，但外国人不会认为爱是一种“现象”，只知道go together是一种phenomenon。

用词不精准也是一个不容忽视的问题，比如 We do not have that sort of capacity to do so.之中的capacity，这个词一般指才能方面的能力，这难道是你想表达的意思吗？用高级词可以，但是必须先明白它的精准意思。而不是大概。

回答2：

Recently, there exists a society issue that whether it is reasonable for college studets to get married on compus.As we know, love is common on compus,however, marriage is more complexed than love. Some people predict that marriage on compus will become populous because that the modern and radical idea are gradually accepted by college students.
In my opinion, I totally oppose the proposal of getting married on compus.
Firstly, the students who have got married on compus will have to shoulder a heavier burdon on their studies because they need to save time for their love affair.Seeing from this point of view, how can they have enough time as their single classmates to spend on their study so that they can learn the knowledge which is very useful for their working life?As a student, their chief goal is to attain the knowledge for their furthur life. If they cannot finish theif study target because of marriage, it seems ridiculous to marry on compus.
Secondly, the lack of money will become the heaviest burden on new couple.Because of the lack of money, they cannot provide a powerful and adequate gaurantee for their family. Gradually, the happiness of marriage will be substituted by the pain of lack of money.Without happiness,the divorce will be unavoidable after a serial of quarrels which are harmful for both of the couple.
Thirdly, which is also the worst, if a "young college mother" give birth to babies, the young parents will face a lot of problems and have to find balance between seeking jobs, raising the children and studying.They have tasted the bitter pill of life before they begin to enjoy the greatness of the life because of their impulse.The direct result is that they will have to experience a depressed and unsuccussful college life which will have a great influence on their future life.
In one word, we can draw the conclusion that there are a lot of side effects of college students getting married om compus.For the college students, it is unwise to get married at college for the reasons above.We should realize clearly which is the most important one for college students so that we can have a happy college life and better future.
你开头应该表明自己的态度和观点，分点说明时不能只提出自己的观点，还应该根据自己的观点铺开陈述，不如会显得很干巴巴的没有内容，结尾也应该根据整篇文章来进行总结不能很直白的说我们不应该这样。对于“大学生不应该在大学结婚”这个是一个thesis statement，你所做的应该是提出理由来让别人认可你的观点，这个是我们考英语八级练习时的一个作文题目，当时我也写的不好，所以帮你改过的也不是很好。
你自己看看后再做些另外的修改吧。

回答3：

做什么事都不能依赖别人,考试呢?

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