急 高分悬赏 英文棒的大师请进！帮我翻译几句话吧

1.生活就他妈是坨屎 我就是那根搅屎棒
life is like a shit ,and i am the stick to stir it up
2.笑 直到腹痛 哭 一直哭到笑
laugh, till you feel bellyache； cry, till you laugh
3.别跟我谈爱情 多伤钱啊
do not talk about love with me .it wastes money
4.年轻的生命不是用来呕气的
young life is not for sulkiness

1.life is just a fucking heap of shit,and i'm the very stick to stir it
2.laugh,till the stomach aches;cry,till bitter laugh comes
3.don't talk to me about love.look how much love costs!
4.a young life is not for resentment

1.Life is just like a damn piece of shit; and I am the stick stiring it.

2.Laugh, till a stomachach comes; cry, till laughter comes

3.Do not mention love to me. It hurts, especially my wallet.

4.Youth is not used to carry anger.

LZ 你太有才了~~
lol ^^