求几个搞笑一点的英文笑话，最好附带中文翻译

My wife and her friend were out to lunch when the temperature drastically dropped. They stood by her friend’s truck, shivering, while the friend searched for a key to unlock the door. My wife asked, “Can’t we sit in the truck while you find your keys?”
我老婆跟他朋友在一个大冷天一起出去吃午餐。 他们站在朋友的车子旁边 ，一边冷的发抖 朋友一边找车子的钥匙。 老婆说“我们可不可以进去你的车子里面坐著找你的钥匙？“
My collection of vintage kitchen utensils includes one whose intended purpose was always a mystery. It looks like a cross between a metal slotted spoon and a spatula, so I use it as both. When not in use, it is prominently displayed in a decorative ceramic utensil caddy in my kitchen.
The mystery of the spoon/spatula was recently solved when I found one in its original packaging at a rummage sale.
It’s a pooper-scooper.
在我收集的古董级厨房餐具里包括一件不知道是做什麼用的东西 那东西看起来像一个铁的汤匙又像是炒菜的铲子 我平常就这麼用它 当没用它时 它就被放在厨房里一个漂亮的装餐具的瓷器里当装饰
终於有天这迷题解开了。 我在一个二手货拍卖场里 看到有卖这只像汤匙又像炒菜的铲子的东西 那东西有它原本的包装
那东西原来是捡狗大便用的

All of us have read thrilling stories in which the hero had only a limited and specified time

and i do not appreciate you killing my men,also when i sent my people to kill your people for killing my people.you killed more of my people,not cool,not cool.you have no idea,how not cool that shit is!

百度一下，你就知道