英语有趣小故事

man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一个比一个效率高.
Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"
My Baby Swallowed a Bullet
Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?
Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."
Notes
1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹
2. to point at: 对...瞄准
个中意味自己体会吧 :)
allybaby
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"

两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”

介意是寓言故事吗?是我电脑里收藏的
寓言故事--牛粪中的小鸟
一只小鸟飞往南方去过冬，天气实在太冷了，这只小鸟被冻僵了。掉到了一块田地里。当它僵硬地躺在那里，一头牛走了过来，拉了一堆牛粪在它身上。冻僵的小鸟躺在这堆牛粪里，便开始有了意识，渐渐的意识到躺在那里有多暖和。这堆牛粪的确令它苏醒过来，它躺在上面又暖和又快乐，一会儿便欢乐的唱起歌来。一只路过的猫听到鸟的歌声便过来探个究竟，寻声而来，猫发现了在这堆牛粪下的小鸟，便很快将它挖出来吃掉了。
管理经验：
1）不是所有说你坏话的人都是你的敌人。（不是所有往你身上拉牛粪的人都是你的敌人）
2）不是所有帮你解围的人都是你的朋友。（不是所有将你从牛粪里拉出来的人都是你的朋友）
3）在你还没有完全摆脱困境时，别得意忘形。（当你还没有从粪堆里出来时，把嘴闭上）
英文原文
Fun
Stuff
-
Three
More
Management
Lessons
little
bird
was
flying
south
for
the
winter.
It
was
so
cold,the
bird
froze
and
fell
to
the
ground
in
a
large
field.While
it
was
lying
there,
a
cow
came
by
and
dropped
some
dung
on
it.
As
the
frozen
bird
lay
there
in
the
pile
of
cow
dung,
it
began
to
realize
how
warm
it
was.
The
dung
was
actually
thawing
him
out!
He
lay
there
all
warm
and
happy
and
soon
began
to
sing
A
passing
cat
heard
the
bird
singing
and
came
to
investigate.Following
the
sound,
the
cat
discovered
the
bird
under
the
pile
of
cow
dung
and
promptly
dug
him
out
and
ate
him!
Management
Lessons:
1)
Not
everyone
who
drops
dung
on
you
is
your
enemy.
2)
Not
everyone
who
gets
you
out
of
dung
is
your
friend.
3)
And
when
you're
in
deep
dung,
keep
your
mouth
shut.

怎么这么多人?
有一天,某位下班的朋友晚上回宿舍,在一楼按了电梯.他要上六楼,很幸运地,电梯一下子就来了......他走了进去,里面空无一人,他走进去电梯马上就关上了....升啊.....升啊.....到了四楼的时候,电梯突然打开了.有两个人在外面探头探脑的,意思想要进来,可不知道为什么看了看又没有进来.电梯门又关上了,就在电梯门要关上的时候,我的朋友清楚的听到他们在说:"*!怎么这么多人啊!
.Howsomanypeople?
Oneday,someoneatworkHuiqishefriendsintheelevatoronthefirstfloor.Himonthesixthfloor,verylucky,toimmediatelylift......HeleftintotheinsideemptyHeimmediatelyenteredtheelevatortotheclosingor....ah...ah...ortothefourthfloorwhentheelevatorsuddenlyopened.twopeopleoutsideareconstantly,meaningtocome,readfromtimetoknowwhyanddidnotseecoming.elevatordoorisclosed,intheelevatordoortoclosethetime,myfriendclearlyheardthemsay:"*!howsomanypeopleah!

我上大2的时候和同学编的一个小故事 当场得到老师的喝彩 回去给你找找 等着

man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."