英语高手帮忙看一下有没有错！急！！！！

以下是我的修改。碍于篇幅，无法一一列出修改之处，但是你自己可以对比一下！你文章基本上是成功的，虽然也存在着如时态对应，“美国”的拼写，以及句子的构成等的问题！

Hello, Everyone! My name is J...I am from China. I have been in the United States for ten months. Even though I have been here for a long time, I still miss my Chinese friends. I always remember the happy time with them. On the other hand, I know I should adapt myself to new manners when I go to a new country. When I just arrived here, I thought it's a good place to live in. Because there are many greenbelts and trees in and around the city, and the fresh air makes me feel comfortable. After two weeks, I began to go to school. I felt nervous and worried on my first schoolday. You know, before we get into the school, we must scan our school IDs. But then I didn't get my ID card yet, so when the teacher asked me what my ID number was, I didn't know that. So I took out the roster papper. I wanted to find the ID number from it. When I showed the number to the teacher, she shouted to me, "Give me your ID number." I asked, "Is this the ID number?" She shouted again, "Just tell me your ID number." To be honest, she made me scared. I read the number to her, though I was not sure that was the number she needed. She said, "OK." I let off a long sign of relief. From then on I thought this school was horrible. But after several schooldays, I changed my mind. This school was not really so. During my free period, I like playing computer games, chatting with my friends and watching Chinese soap operas on the Internet, and watching TV. Sometimes before I go to sleep, I like to listen to the radio or some music. I like spring and autumn. Because spring is a festival full of vitality, and the weather during autumn is cool and suitable. Before I came to the United States, I had never seen snow. When it was snowy, I got suprised. It was beautiful. I have had much of my first since I came to United States.

United States - the United States
happy time - happy times
in the other hand - on the other hand
have just arrived - first arrived
I think - I thought
greenbelts????
makes - made
began to go to school - started school
scan out school IDs - have our IDs scanned
didn't get - hadn't got
ID number is - ID number was
know that - know
roster papper????
look for the ID number from it - find the ID number on it
shouted to me - yelled at me
shouted again - yelled again
she made me scared - she scared me
read the number - read out the number
was not sure that was the number - was not sure whether that was the number
let of a long sign of relief - let out a long sigh of relief
free period???
like playing - like to play
chatting - to chat
in the internet - online
watching Chinese - to watch Chinese
in the internet - online
watching - to watch
a full of vitality festival???
suitable - comfortable
come - came
United States - the United States
never see snow - had never seen snow
it was snowy - it snowed
got suprise - was surprised
have much my first - have had a lot of "firsts"
come - came
United States - the United States

Hello!Everyone. My name is J...I am from China. Ihave Been in United States for ten months.
Even though(改 althhough) I have been here for a long time , I still miss my Chinese friends . I always remember the happy time(加 i live) with them.
In(改on) the other hand , I know I should adapt myself to new manners when I go to a new country. When I have just arrived here, I think it's a good place to live in. Because there are many greenbelts and trees in and around the city, the fresh air makes me feel comfortable.After two weeks, I began to go to school. I got nervous and worried on my first schoolday. You know ,before we get into the school, we must scan our school IDs. But I
didn't(改hadn"t)get (改got)my ID card yet., then the teacher asked me what my ID number is , the problem was (加that)I didn't know
that(改it). So I took out the roster papper. I wanted to look for the ID number
from (改in)it.
Then(改when) I showed the number to the teachr, she shouted
to(改at) me,"Give me the ID number". Iasked'"Is(加not) this the ID number?"She shouted again,"Just tell me your ID number."
To be honest(改to tell you the truth)) , she made me scared. Iread the number,though I was not sure
that(改whether it) was the number she needed. She said,"OK." I let of a long sign of relief. Then I thought this school was horrible. After several schooldays, Ichanged my mind, this school was not really horrible. During my free period, I like playing computer games, chatting with my friends in the Internet,watching Chinese soap opera in the Internet, and watching TV.Sometimes before I go to sleep, I like to listen to the radio or some music. I like spring and autumn. Because spring is a full of vitality festival, and the weather during autumn is cool and suitable. Before I come to United States, I never
see(saw) snow. When it was snowy, I got
suprise(suprised), it was beautiful, I have much my first after I come to United States.

基本上对