推荐回答(5个)
从生理角度来讲,爱情的本质就是性。为什么说性是爱情的本质呢?做几个大脑实验:一个阉人和一个正常人能否产生爱情?如果想象不出,可以考虑猫做绝育后的表现(猫绝育和人结扎方法不一样)。
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即便是同性恋,也必然是同性间能够产生性冲动,性快感才可以形成。有一种恋爱叫做“柏拉图式的精神恋爱”,但是这种感情实践上难度很大,而且即便成功,也很难说是真正的两情相悦,还是靠意志力走过了一生的相随,为了“精神恋爱”而恋爱。
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爱情是一种主观心理行为,发起者是自己,所以有人觉得我爱你跟你无关。实际呢?作为一个长期的心理活动,爱情会受到对方行为的影响,并且这种影响是正反馈,也就是说,对方的正面回应会引起你的正面回应,两人的感情就会迅速升温。
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真正的爱情在本质上是两个独立、成熟的个体互相滋养,共同成长,令彼此的心智更加成熟。从主观意愿出发对他人好,即有爱的意愿,又付出爱的行动。
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但是大多数人所谓的爱情,在本质上只不过是因为其心智的不成熟和缺乏安全感,而迫切的需要从恋人那里得到安全感,得到心理上的保护。
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因此,现在我们必须承认一个事实,有一些所谓的恋爱并不是真正的恋爱。 那些恋爱经历在本质上只是因为缺乏安全感和内心的空虚、以及抱着对爱情的错误幻想和知识和另一个人「在一起」了一段时间而已。 当然,这种“幼稚的”恋爱并非因为我说它是错误的就代表它一定是不好的,每个人都是从幼稚走向成熟,幼稚的恋爱是你自我成长、心智成熟的一个必经的阶段。 但是只有你意识到,你的恋爱观,你对爱情的态度是幼稚的,你才能得到成长的机会,你才能够改变自己,由幼稚走向成熟。
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当然,这种“幼稚的”恋爱并非因为我说它是错误的就代表它一定是不好的,每个人都是从幼稚走向成熟,幼稚的恋爱是你自我成长、心智成熟的一个必经的阶段。但是只有你意识到,你的恋爱观,你对爱情的态度是幼稚的,你才能得到成长的机会,你才能够改变自己,由幼稚走向成熟。
爱情本质第一层:彼此的吸引。对异性的本能吸引。爱情不是性需要,虽然性离不开爱情,但是爱情本质的第一步,应该是对异性所产生的本能的吸引,这个吸引有对外表美的吸引和言语好感的吸引以及个人心态的吸引;所以这个一步应该是非常感性的,缺乏必要的理性,由此,也常常造成一见钟情的发生。
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爱情本质第二层:互相的拥有。对异性内心和身体的完全拥有。爱情是无形的精神元素,却也往往跟物质紧密相联,在爱情本质达到第一层以后,爱情的双方会开始追求对方,目的是要完全的拥有对方,这一层次的恋爱双方,开始加入部分的理性,甚至理性多于感性了。
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爱情本质第三层:归宿和共享。人总是要有归宿感的,因为个体的人生活在一个大的社会中,总是需要一种安全感,这个时候父母年龄大了,自己独立了,人类本能的传宗接待的隐性任务也落到了我们的头上,而在达到了爱情的第二层既互相拥有了爱情以后,双方的想法开始转入更实际的第三层,就是双方共同组建一个新的家庭组织,并成为自己未来生活的归宿。
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这一层让大家找到了在大社会中无法得到的安全感,但这只是这一层次的第一步,接下来夫妻双方会将爱的快乐、性的快乐、生活的快乐以及对未来生活的美好向往进行共享,彼此之间会有更多对生活感悟和认识的共享,从而达到爱情的真正本质。
真正的爱情的本质,应该是一个人对另一个人的高度 认同 和 怜惜。但这种爱情很少。多数人的爱情,是两性现实和精神需要的相互满足。
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