第一句，我觉得用人做主语，用主动语态更好。
第三句，可以改成 i don't know how long i can go in being a funny totor.
第六句,，改成 i can't find anywhere i wanna go. / i don't wanna go anywhere.
第七句，后半句应还是用we作主语。可以改成 ,even though we sometimes get criticized by others.
第八句，可以改成，mom, u as well as dad are my best friends who will walk further together with me in life.
第九句，little friend, u need to study hard to mske progress everyday.
个人意见。
中国象棋教我一条真理,大多数失败是有骄傲导致
htrg
对的。
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