麻烦各位高手帮忙修改下英语演讲稿，急啊~在线等~my dream。谢谢

Good afternoon everyone,my name is xx. It is my great honor to be here by sharing my dream with you. I major in marketing.You might ask why would I choose this subject. I guess, it's because of my personality and my dream. First of all, I am an outgoing girl. I like making friends. And I'm a diplomatic girl in my friends’ eyes. As you know, to be a good businessman, you need to be good with people. Also, my dream is to be a successful businessman like Chen Guang Biao. He’s a kind man. He achieved his self-value and helped many people by donating lots of money. As a successful businessman, I can do good deeds more conveniently. Doing good deeds in a high-profile way not only can make my life more meaningful ,but also influence more people join me. Although my parents are businessmen, they don’t support me, either do they say it is too hard to Do Business. But I will stick with my dream and do more to achieve it. Choosing marketing is my first step to achieve my dream. I bielieve I can realize it in the near future.

Goodafternoon everyone,my name is xx. It is my great honour to be standing here and introducing myself and also share my dreams with you. I am major in marketing. Maybe you might want to ask me why would I choose this subject. Well, I guess, it's because of my characteristics and my dreams.I am an outgoing girl and I like making friends. But I'm also a diplomatic girl to my friends. My dream is to be a successful businessman like chenguangbiao. He's kind, therefore he achieved his self-value and helped many people by donating lots of money in a high-profile way.Well, this is my goal, as a successful businessman,I can do good deeds more conviently.Doing good deeds in a high-profile way not only can carry forward the spirit ,but also make more people join me.Since my parents are also businessmen,they won't support me and they told me that it is to hard to Doing Business.But I will stick to my dream and do more to achieve this. Choosing marketing is my first step towards my dream and i believe I can realize the importance of it not far ahead.
稍微修改了一下，发现原版有些地方语法不对