the weather turned cold.
i always wake up at 7 am and then i go to the company 【comtele 应该拼写错了】
work experience 经验不可数
soon we began my job again.【这句很不好。】after that we begin our job
I introduce production of telecom company to every passenger on the bus【products】 【the telecom company】 【in the bus】
during the time, I experience not only bitter but also sweet,because you will experience acception and rejection【很不好。】
——while i introduced the products ,i felt happy and i smiled sweetly,because i could learn a lot.
I hope that some day I can own happiness.【这句话不好。中文很生硬的翻译】
【总体感觉】
单词拼写错误
时态乱用
人称混乱
复杂句子的结构错误
还有很生硬的翻译
【以后可以写短的句子,尝试套用一些结构。最好整篇都是一个时态,人称统一。】
我的语气比较严肃,很抱歉。
如果你第一句是想说天气变冷的话,这样讲,我个人认为是不好的,turn out 的意思应该是结果是,所以不如写成:It turns cold today.
还有写日记的话时态一般是一般过去时。所以后面的句子,自己可以修改一些
还有注意大小写,During应该是大写的。
中式英语。