求英语笑话小短文越少越好加翻译

1.我是来装电话的 What a big deal
A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."

译：一个年轻人刚刚开始做生意，就租了一个漂亮的办公室。一天，他坐在办公室里，看到有一个人在外面，于是他就装作生意很忙的样子，拿起电话胡吹乱侃，还不停的甩出几个大数字，好像在谈一笔大买卖。
到了最后，他终于挂了电话，问来访的人，“有事儿嘛？”那个人回答，“我是来给你安装电话的。”

2.我已经努力好多年了 I've been trying to do that for years
A man went to the police office wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You will get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.
"No, no, no." said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years."

一个人来到警察局想和昨天潜入他家偷盗的贼聊聊，警察告诉他说，“你在法庭上会有这个机会的。”
“不，不，不”，这个人说，“我就是想知道他是如何做到潜入我家并且还能不惊醒我的老婆，我已经努力好多年了都没能做到这点。”

3.提早大抢购，Early big shopping
An offender was brought to trial before a judge. The judge asked him, "What is the crime you have committed?"
The offender said, "I went shopping too early during the New Year."
The judge said, "This is not a crime! Is there a mistake, perhaps? So how early did you go shopping?"
He answered, "The shop was not yet open for business, and I was already inside."

有个犯人被带到法官面前审案，法官问他:“你犯了什么罪？”
犯人说：“因为我在新年时，太早去采购了。”
法官说：“这不是罪呀！可能是弄错吧？那你多早去采购呢？”
他说：‘商店还没开门，我就已经进去了。’

4.律师咨询费 The Value of a Good Question

A man called a lawyer and asked, “How much would you charge me to answer three questions?” The lawyer said, “$400 dollars!”
And the man said, “That’s a lot of money, isn’t it?”
The lawyer said, “I guess so. What’s your third question?”

有个人打电话给律师，问道：「你回答三个问题的收费是多少钱？」律师回答说：「四百美元。」
这个人说：「这要不少钱，不是吗？」
律师回答说：「我想是吧！你的第三个问题是什么？」

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一个大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？

-- 墓地守墓人。