跪求英文大虾帮我翻译下面这则冷笑话

One day, a blob of Vanilla Ice cream met a blob of Chocolate Ice cream, he said unsatisfied:"why are you able to go to the vacation and get that wonderful tan, so even, and i cant?"
Chocolate Ice cream said looking ashamed:"I m just a piece of shit"

自责一般这么说 我帮楼主换了个词 丢人，但是英语这里说的话也可以理解为自责

如果有不懂得还可以找我！

One day, a milk ice scream come across 'chocolate ice scream'. Looking at his Bronze skin, MIS feel envy and jealous and complain: It is unfair that i cannot go for sunbath as you do.
'sorry, but i am just a real piece of shit' CIS say with proud.

one day……后面的我也忘记打出来了。

One day encountered a cook cook ice cream milk chocolate ice cream dissatisfaction that can go on vacation and why you tan so beautiful so I can not even like you
Self-blame have to say chocolate ice cream