请帮我批改一下作文，雅思能有多少分这个作文

departure time 改成 time of departure 比较好

of going to study in English 改成 leaving for England for study abroad

in next two 改成 in the next two

In order to understand completely 改成 In order to achieve higher comprehension levels

which were printed with English 改成 which were written in English

there is an urgent 改成 it is urgent

practice the skills 改成单数 skill

accommodation rent 改成 accommodation cost

后面的句子太复杂了，不要用负的，就说 but the food and heating will also be costly. 因为 not only 一定要组合 but also

to assist in 改成 to assist with

would like to arrange an employment 改成 try to arrange for employment

if anyone wants a housecleaner 改成 is looking for a housekeeper

If you would not mind 和前面的句子用逗号连在一起

I would be grateful 前面加一个 very 比较好

以上是我改的，分数我就不知道了
求采纳

同学可以去智课网的极致批改网看看