我有一篇英语自我介绍，哪位高手帮我看看都有啥错误。

如果这个介绍是你在面试开头用的，说完了以后还有其他面试程序，最好别说thank you for your time。就用thanks好了。
thank you for your time往往是在面试的结尾，所有的程序都结束了以后，告别时候用的。
另外 MINZU university 是什么？民族？那应该用英语萨， 不过好像 people已经给人民大学用咯，呵呵，这是你们学校的官方翻译吗？最好查查， 不行用peoples' university 好了
其他一些语法：
i'm from beijing , a very busy city,where there are a lot of people。
i like sports, swimming, badminton, yoga etc.

i hope you enjoy it 也建议删掉，工作面试讲这个好像不伦不类。最后就说，that's all， thanks。

good morning madam. i'm very glad to be here for your interview. my name is XX, XX years old, i'm from beijing , a very busy city in which live a lot of peaple. but i love this city.. I am studying in MINZU university of China imajoring in English..i like sports,swimming, badminton,yoga etc.
that's all, thank you for your time.

years ';
like swimming去掉like;
etc变成and so on;