请帮我看一下我写的英语作文有没有语法错误，O(∩_∩)O谢谢

This story reminds me one of my 【experiences】. I had 【many difficulties】in learning English 【because I was born and raised in China 土生土长的】, and was 【especially poor】 in oral English. 【My classmate always make fun of my mistakes】. However, I never 【give】 up. Instead I kept listening to the tape and practicing speaking 【English】 whenever I got a chance. As I expected, my English 【improved】 quickly, to my surprise, I even get an “A” in the oral English exam.
In my opinion, though life can be hard, we shouldn’t easily 【give up】 what we do. If we make up our minds, and try again and again, we will finally get the sunshine we want. As the saying goes, “God helps those who help themselves. Success only belongs to those who have strong wills.”

希望回答对你有帮助

第一句就错了，用experiences，这是经历，可以复数。
第二句，many difficulties。especially最好放最后或者and后，通顺一些
第三句不要用被动语态，不伦不类的。
第四句，建议用English tapes代替the tape，你听得肯定是很多磁带。一有时间就联系口语不是那么说的，你可以改成practice speaking English whenever I was free。
第五局，请用过去式，instead 删掉，另外，to my suprise前面加一个and。
第六句，abandon what we do改成give up，abandon不是这么用的。
第七句，if……，we should persist on and will finally……。

difficulty--difficulties,当然就不用much了
never+原型
instead不这样用，要这样表达的话就在后面加逗号
总觉得你的表达怪怪的，太中文式的口语了，思维方式要变一下，不要耿直耿直的表达，你大概是高中的吧？

基本上没有错