关于英语小笑话

一人初上飞机想吐，空姐取一空袋，快满时又去取袋，并嘱咐“别乱吐”。
空姐待回来时见遍地都是，问其因，答道：“我见快满了，又喝了一口，周围人就都吐了……”

The beginning of a person vomiting on the plane, flight attendants take an empty bag, quick to pick up bags full of Shiyou, and asked "Do Luantu."
Flight attendants see everywhere are to be returned, regardless of their cause, replied: "I see the fast full, drank a sip, spit on the people around ... ..."

A man worked hard all day digging the garden and felt very stiff and sore.

His wife fluttered about him, pleased with the amount of work he had done and anxious to get him to do some more.

"Have a nice soak in the bath and I'll bring you a drink," she suggested smiling.

"Good idea," says the husband looking forward to being waited on.

He's in the bath when she comes in with a nice glass of Scotch which he accepts happily.

"If there's anything else you'd like just call," says the wife as she leaves the bathroom.

When she got halfway along the landing the husband relaxes completely and lets off an enormous long fart in the bath.(复制自http://www.xiao688.com)

A few minutes later, despite it being a very warm Summer's evening, the wife comes in with a fluffy bed warmer

"What the heck is that for?" asks the husband snappily.

"Oh Darling," says the wife, flustered, "I thought I heard you say, "Whataboutahottawaterbottle."

“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”

“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”

“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”

TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?

John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.

老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？

约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。
(里面有像tooth,short\example之类的，差不多是上学期的，本人现初一~~）

小明去美国，在街上
骑车的时候撞到以老外，
以表歉意，他当下即说：I'm sorry.
老外：I'm sorry too（two）.
小明不明，随着说：I'm sorry three。
老外：So what are you sorry for（four）？
小明慌了，一下有一种不能为中国人丢脸的豪气，高吼： I'm sorry five。