A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
英语幽默：士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招
由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。
又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
2、1、 I have said it a hundred times, we need team work，always seek the best in others. The purpose of this trip , is to train our team in a real situation and to test our new members . Those deserving special praise are the little leaf and four eyes. Although new to the trade, they try hard, they have not only surpass themselves, but even the old guard here。
“说了多少回了,要团结，眼睛要看这别人的长处。这次出来，一是通过实战锻炼队伍,二是考察新人,在这里我特别要表扬的是小叶和四眼。两位虽然刚刚入道，做人啊， 不但突破了自己， 也超越了在座的前辈。
2、This century most expensive commodity is talent.
“21世纪什么最贵？人才！！！
3、An organization without discipline.
“有组织，无纪律。”
4、First my gaze toward the moon, but the moon shines on the ditch.
“我本一心向明月，奈何明月照沟渠”
Who knows me understand my needs, I’m a mystery to he who know me not .
“真是知我者谓我心忧，不知我者谓我何求啊”
5、I can’t stand you armed robber types, no technical skills what so ever.
“我最讨厌你们这些劫匪了，一点技术含量都没有。”
6、I can reliably inform you that, uncle lee is very angry. The consequences will be severe。
“我可以很负责地告诉你，黎叔很生气，后果很严重。。。”
7、I was reckless, I was reckless,never thought that girl would play me。
“大意呀，大意呀，想不到被一丫头片子玩儿了。”
Father's Things
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.
Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.
Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?"
"Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom.
"And that shirt's mine too."
"Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom.
"And you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard.
"Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"
父亲的东西
汤姆.霍德华十七岁的时候，长得和父亲一样高了，于是当他晚上和朋友一起出去时，就开始借父亲的衣服穿。
霍德华先生可不喜欢这样，当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时，总是非常生气。
一天晚上，汤姆下楼准备出去，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细打量着汤姆的穿着。
然后他气呼呼地说：“汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？”
汤姆回答说：“是的，父亲，是你的领带。”
“还有那衬衫也是我的。”
“是的，衬衫也是你的。”汤姆回答说。
“还有呢，你连皮带也用我的。”霍德华先生说。
“是的，父亲，”汤姆回答说，“你不愿意让你的裤子掉下来吧？”
回答者： 华山不弱 - 三级 2006-3-11 09:31
http://enghumor.anyp.cn/040227092045218.aspx
有好多您自己选选吧
回答者： 狗狗语丝 - 六级 2006-3-11 10:29
A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
英语幽默：士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招
由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。
又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
2、1、 I have said it a hundred times, we need team work，always seek the best in others. The purpose of this trip , is to train our team in a real situation and to test our new members . Those deserving special praise are the little leaf and four eyes. Although new to the trade, they try hard, they have not only surpass themselves, but even the old guard here。
“说了多少回了,要团结，眼睛要看这别人的长处。这次出来，一是通过实战锻炼队伍,二是考察新人,在这里我特别要表扬的是小叶和四眼。两位虽然刚刚入道，做人啊， 不但突破了自己， 也超越了在座的前辈。
2、This century most expensive commodity is talent.
“21世纪什么最贵？人才！！！
3、An organization without discipline.
“有组织，无纪律。”
4、First my gaze toward the moon, but the moon shines on the ditch.
“我本一心向明月，奈何明月照沟渠”
Who knows me understand my needs, I’m a mystery to he who know me not .
“真是知我者谓我心忧，不知我者谓我何求啊”
5、I can’t stand you armed robber types, no technical skills what so ever.
“我最讨厌你们这些劫匪了，一点技术含量都没有。”
6、I can reliably inform you that, uncle lee is very angry. The consequences will be severe。
“我可以很负责地告诉你，黎叔很生气，后果很严重。。。”
7、I was reckless, I was reckless,never thought that girl would play me。
“大意呀，大意呀，想不到被一丫头片子玩儿了。”
Father's Things
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.
Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.
Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?"
"Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom.
"And that shirt's mine too."
"Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom.
"And you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard.
"Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"
父亲的东西
汤姆.霍德华十七岁的时候，长得和父亲一样高了，于是当他晚上和朋友一起出去时，就开始借父亲的衣服穿。
霍德华先生可不喜欢这样，当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时，总是非常生气。
一天晚上，汤姆下楼准备出去，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细打量着汤姆的穿着。
然后他气呼呼地说：“汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？”
汤姆回答说：“是的，父亲，是你的领带。”
“还有那衬衫也是我的。”
“是的，衬衫也是你的。”汤姆回答说。
“还有呢，你连皮带也用我的。”霍德华先生说。
“是的，父亲，”汤姆回答说，“你不愿意让你的裤子掉下来吧？”
回答者： zhaiminjia - 二级 2006-3-11 15:56
dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
回答者： wk159357456 - 一级 2006-3-16 20:37
A Clever Son
My husband who was born in a big city often teased me for being a country girl.
One day he told my son that before marrying him,I lived in a remote countryside and he had to take two hours to ride on a battered bus on a stony road and then walk for an hour along a rugged trail before crossing a one-logged bridge
and a strech of sugar-cane field in order to get
to my home in the backwoods.
At this,my clever son,who always took sides with his poor mother,answered,"And so did Mummy when she wanted to go to your home."
一、A：Psst!
B:What?
A:What's this in English?
B:It's a watch.
A:How do you spell that?
B:T-H-A-T!
二、A:Do you like broccoli(菠菜）？
B:No,I don't.
A:Do you like carrots?
B:No,I don't.
A:Do you like ice cream?
B:Yes,I do.
A:Great!This is broccoli ice cream.
三、(Today is December 3rd.)
Friends:Supprise(惊喜）！Happy birthday!
Girl:Oh,dear(亲爱的）Thank you so much!
Friends:Are you having a fun birthday?
Girl:Well,no.
Friends:Why?
Girl:Beacuse today isn't my birthday!
四、A:Do you like action movies（动作片）?
B:No,I don't.
A:Do you like comedies（喜剧）?
B:No,I don't.
A:Do you like thrillers（恐怖片）?
B:No,I don't.
A:Well,what kind of movies do you like（那，你喜欢是类型的电影）?
B:I don't like movies!!
好笑吧？！
Bob: Do you like action movies?
Smith:No,I don't.
Bob:Do you like thrillers?
Smith:No,I don't.
Bob:What kind of movies do you like?
Smith:I don't like movies!
鲍勃:你喜欢动作片吗?
史密斯:不,我不喜欢.
鲍勃:你喜欢恐怖片吗?
史密斯:不,我不喜欢.
鲍勃:你喜欢哪种电影?
史密斯:我不喜欢电影!
小男：DOU YOU FEEL HURT ? 小女：YES 小男：算了 小女： DON.T
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