雅思作文,请高手批改,谢谢!

2024-12-12 14:56:28
推荐回答(2个)
回答1:

Is the study of history useless? Some people’s answer is “yes” because they believe there are many disadvantages to spend time learning history. However, I can hardly agree with this opinion.
It is evident that studying history is imperative due to history’s important role in enabling people to inherit traditional culture of their countries. If the history were not studied, the related culture would be lost and people would be unaware of what had happened before. More significantly, studying history can not only make people know the past, but also help to promote today’s development. It is because that the study of history could enrich people’s experience, and therefore make them make fewer mistakes as well as avoid similar mistakes occurred in the past and thus advance faster. Lastly, there are a lot of interesting stories in history which people can enjoy in their leisure time.

Even so, I admit that there are disadvantages if people spend too much time on past stories instead of today’s problems, which directly link to our everyday life. Furthermore, it would be inappropriate if we applied old experience on the today’s problems without any changes. It is reasonable because that the situations nowadays are unparalleled so the solutions must be different from those in the past as well. Despite that, people can learn valuable knowledge from history.

To sum up, I take the view that the study of history is very essential although spending too much time on it has detrimental influences. I am convinced that studying history is helpful to the development of the society.

In my opinion, you have the points but you are lack of explanations and examples. You also need to polish your points. For instance, you said studying history can help people to inherit traditional culture of their ancestors, but what if traditional culture is not inherited and what a re the undesirable consequences? Moreover, you said there were interesting stories occurred in the past and people can enjoy the stories, this is valid however, can you give some examples?
In the third paragraph, you are giving counter-arguments and this is good. However, in the first sentence, you have to focus on the drawback of history studying instead of giving drawback of spending too much time on studying history. This mistake is also present in the first paragraph.
In conclusion, you have written a quite insightful passage with points on both sides; advantages as well as disadvantages of history studying. What you need to do is to focus on your stand and polish your points with analysis and probably examples.

回答2:

Some people’s answer is “yes”还不如说Some people would say“yes”

agree this opinion中间应加个WITH吧

通观全文,好象有点中式英语之嫌。写时没用英文思维好象。