两人英语幽默对话

I'm Trying to Stop It

"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"

"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵？它感染了吗？”

“没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”

“I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”

“Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”

“Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”

“对不起，夫人，为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”

“20美元！为什么？不是说好只要4美元。”

“是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四个病人吓跑了。”

TWO： Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?

John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.

老师：我们都知道热胀冷缩的道理。现在，谁给我举个例子？

约翰：嗯，在夏天天都长，在冬天天都短。

Hua Ye is at New York Airport.The immigration officer is asking her some question at the passport control.
Amy:Now,Ms.Can I see your passport and passenger ticket,please?
Heidi:Sure,Here you are.
Amy:Thank you.Well,your name is Ye,right?
Heidi:It’s my first name.My surname is Hua.
Amy:I know.And your date of birth is November 15,1985,right?
Heidi:Yes,that’s right.
Amy:What’s the purposes of your visit?
Heidi:Sell some clothes.
Amy:Business or pleasesure?
Heidi:Business.
Amy:Do you have any paperswork of your business?
Heidi:En,I’m a shop assistant.
Amy:A shop assistant?
Heidi:En,I mean I sell some clothes in my own store.I’m a director of my store.
Amy:But I want to see some paperswork about your business!
Heidi:I’m sorry.I can’t understand what you want.
Amy:Do you hanve some information of your work?
Heidi:Oh,this is my business card.I don’t know if this is you want.
Amy:It’s all right.How long will you be staying in New York.
Heidi:3 weeks.
Amy:Do you have any hotel reservation in New York?
Heidi:What?
Amy:Have you booked any hotel in New York?
Heidi:Yes,I’ll stay in Ramada Inn.
Amy:Can I see your Fax-Mail of Ramada Inn,please?
Heidi:Oh,it’s in my bag,there it is!Here you are.
AmyThank you.En……but it says＂You’ll stay in there for 3 days.″,but you’ll stay in New York for 3 weeks.Where’ll you stay the rest of time?
Heidi:I don’t know.Oh.no,maybe I’ll stay in other hotel.
Amy:Ok.Could I see your return ticket?
Heidi:Here you are.
Amy:It’s all right.This is your passport and passenger ticket.Enjoy your stay.
Heidi:Oh,I’m so sorry for my bad English!
Amy:Not at all.you have been hard.NEXT!

名字改一下好了，这是我初一时的，能问问你学的是哪本英语教材么？